Today , Google Shopping Express — Google ’s gift to hermit , misanthropist , and anyone otherwise loth to social movement everywhere — made its way into the cities of New York and Los Angeles . And after trying out the service for ourselves , we can at last say with confidence that , yes — we are all doomed .
Do n’t get me wrong ; usingthis same - sidereal day deliverance servicewas a dream . Anyone who ’s ever purchased anything on the internet before ( register : all of you ) should have no trouble navigating around the many potential purchase that wait . The only really imaginable charge is n’t even really a complaint : The number of choice is absurd . Pretty much every food detail , toilet articles , and sundry you could possibly ever need is just waiting to be Prius - ed over to your doorstep .
After settling on a traveling bag of cookie , it hardly took more than three or four clicks before a store - corrupt udder was schedule to be driven halfway across Manhattan and hand - give birth to my bureau . But in that serial of clicks , somehow , I ’d even grapple to sign up for a Google Shopping Express membership without ever actually intending to do so .
The only noticeable word of advice of my new rank to the club of the inertly gluttonous make out in the form of an email congratulating me on my new membership and letting me roll in the hay that it will regenerate itself automatically — and at no cost ! After six month , though , all bets are off . And get into Google will want to stay competitive with Amazon Prime , the annual fee will likely hit somewhere around the $ 80 mark . Maybe less to aid break into Amazon ’s turf , maybe more since it is same - day after all .
Of course luring in likely customers with a free trial run is nothing new . The terrific affair here , though , is that , at least in this case , it ’s almost certainly hold up to make for . This was , without interrogative , the most absurdly easy path to spoil in sloth that I have ever experience .
I did perfectly nothing but desire something . It be me absolutely nothing ( first $ 10 are on Google ) . And at 2:23 pm , a kind deliveryman walk up four flight of steps of step to bring me a cup of tea of cookies . I am a monster , I know . But it still feel fantastic .
For context , I actually enjoy interacting with humanity and experiencing sunlight occasionally . There are passel of people who do n’t , and certainly some of them inhabit in Los Angeles and New York . And with same - day delivery privy paper at your administration , it has never been easier to give in to your worst impulses . It ’s cargo ships : The Drug .
Imagine , if you will , a time not too far from now . Where even in the gist of New York City , the only sound for miles is the gentle Harkat ul-Ansar of hundred of Google - branded Priuses speed off to appease the masses ’ whims . Google delivery bag tumble slowly through the empty street in tangle masses more reminiscent ofrat kingsthan tumbleweeds .
Inside , people perspire apprehensively , look the doorbell ’s bombilation . A few grunts to acknowledge the human in front of them give way to puff as they make their way back to the couch . Winded and imbrue in sweat , they consume the biscuit .
All this and more , coming to a metropolis near you .
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