avenger : Endgame is on the way , and with it , more ware than you’re able to sway an Infinity Gauntlet - invest fingerbreadth at . But as people rush to find meaning out of them , let ’s remember that in a world where even the laggard are lie to us , some burnished new toy are n’t going to bring out anything we do n’t fuck already about this movie .
Toy trace rarelyactually “ spoil ” thingsabout the movie they ’re attach to — at best , they give us a face at a few fictional character ahead of time , at worst , they ’re any old toy that has nothing to do with a picture show , and just has the logo slapped on . But that does n’t check people — true , evenus — from trying to wring every ounce of meaning out of material designed to get you to spend a bit of money on some plastic for your kids ( or yourself ) .
Avengers : Endgame ’s novel toys — revealed over the weekend and attain stock shelves , perhaps appropriately , just in time for April Fools ’ twenty-four hours — are definitely no exception to this rule , and in fact , might be the very purest distillation of it . So with that in mind , what can these unexampled offerings tell us about the movie ? Probably very little . And with that in mind , rent ’s take a look at them all anyway !
I hope you’re ready to learn absolutely nothing from these little plastic beauties.Image: Bandai, Hasbro, Funko, and Lego
I hope you wish spacesuit .
Pop! Vinyls
Ah , Funkos . Like , you just have to a line of Funko Pops if you have a blockbuster movie these days . I ’m not even indisputable you have to sort out a deal , they just appear on a shelf one day as a to the full shape , completely operational marketing colossus .
There are little Dorbz vinyls ! fundamental chains ! Pencil stovepipe ! unreasoning box seat statuette ! There are even undivided version of character reference that … are just them in and out those spacesuit costume ! What does it mean that Captain Marvel is the only Hero of Alexandria that does n’t have one of those white spacesuits from the trailers ? Probably nothing . Lady does n’t even involve a helmet to travel across the universe by the end of Captain Marvel ! What would she need one for ?
Marvel Legends
deliver for the construct - a - human body of Thanos you get for completing the integral wave , literally only two of the figure in this Endgame wave are really from Endgame : Ronin , Hawkeye ’s Modern identity operator for a geological period of the film , and Captain America , once again in that spacesuit . The rest — Hercules , Living Laser , Nighthawk , and Citizen V — are from the comics , and then Ebony Maw is from Infinity War . So before you get across on an article with a headline like “ Did Hasbro Just Confirm Living Laser Is altogether in Avengers : Endgame ? ? ? ” , the answer is no .
Absolutely not . Do n’t be cockamamy .
Lego
Lego might be home to my favorite Marvel motion-picture show toy “ spoiler ” ever — Iron Man 3 ’s final battle between Tony and the Mandarin taking place largely arounda flamethrower - build up golf pushcart . Which go to show that these shining new sets , as coolheaded as they are ( the hall of armors ! The nice quinjet ! ) , in all likelihood wo n’t even be actual moments from the motion-picture show , let alone give us any context .
Perhaps the close thing to a potential reveal here is the “ War Machine Buster , ” which basically turns one of Lego ’s Hulkbuster model grey and slap a Rhodey minifigure in it — but it seems like that ’s plausibly an estimate of that burlier version of the War Machine armor we saw in the most late trailer than perhaps a full - on , giant - robot - sized version of Rhodey ’s gear .
That say , as much I urgently want 10 years of post - credit scenery and shut up whispers across so many Marvel movies to culminate in a grand battle in the Avengers ’ parking spate — because that would be uproarious — it ’s credibly not go to encounter .
The Ronin Assembler is hilarious. And weirdly phallic. Compensating for something, Clint?Image: Hasbro
Nerf Assemblers
How do you comprise superheroes mostly eff for either having very specific weapon system or just kind of punch affair or shoot down laser beams from their hired hand into a Nerf line ? Everyone gets a chargeman that they absolutely wo n’t have in the movie . Hulk ? Green chargeman . Captain America ? Shield chargeman , and then an actual chargeman with a smaller shield on it for good measure . Black Panther ? Dead for at least some portion of the film ( but back in metre for Black Panther 2 ) , but also : claw chargeman . Hell , Ronin , who is characterized by have a sword ?
SWORD . BLASTER . And not evena cool version of that idea . Poor bozo .
The coolheaded matter about these completely hilarious toys , however , is the ability to add a truly ridiculous amount of fillip supplement parts to make the Nerf blasters highly visionary but , at the same time , kind of make you feel like Tony Stark cycling through a billion different repulsor weapons in his scrap with Thanos in Infinity War .
Hasbro Roleplay Gear
Likewise , Hasbro ’s telephone circuit of non - Nerf - ground action toys does n’t really tell apart us anything about the movie , because they ’re basically just non - ludicrous - heavy weapon - based - approximations of the likes of Iron Man ’s repulsor gauntlets , Captain America ’s cuticle , or the perennial Marvel toy classic , Hulk ’s jumbo angry fist .
Does the fact there ’s a froth Mjolnir mean Mjolnir is back ? No . It means Hasbro had some Mjolnirs left over from whenit did thiswith the Avengers plaything released ahead of Infinity War . Same for thatInfinity Gauntlet ! At least they denote they ’re inspired by past movies on the packaging , in an endeavor to cut off speculation immediately .
Bandai S.H. Figuarts
Bandai ’s line of hyperarticulated collector figures at least ditches give everyone a spacesuit , instead balancing some pinch of already conversant figures ( like Captain America , Iron Man , and Ant - Man , all borrowing calculate from anterior human body , albeit with some update confront sculpts ) , with new figure based on Black Widow ’s Endgame appearance — the right way down to the weird two - tone pilus — Ronin , and our best look at Thanos ’s armored appurtenance from the movie .
Will he have that giant double - bladed sword he has in all the merchandise ? Who can say ? But does Thanos even need one at this point ?
Hasbro Basic and Titan FX Action Figures
So many many spacesuits , so trivial time . I ’m starting to get the smell that Hasbro got to see as much of Endgame as we have , and so everything is a sea of spacesuit . Except for Captain Marvel again , but I think technically she is already break a case that can go out in space , so there we go ! These basic military action figure actually give us a better look at Rhodey ’s non - space - suited appearance at least , and although the novel War Machine armor is definitely bulky , it does n’t seem as Hulkbuster - y in scale as Lego ’s interpretation .
Marvel ’s desire to obfuscate as much about Avengers : Endgame as possible has made forcryptictrailersthat dance around let on even the bleak of detail of the movie ( and even then , we ca n’t commit those trailers not to be full of doctored footage ) , bill sticker that can be jaw - dropping news only bycovering a character in grayscale or not , and even the revelation of its statute title as its own wild event . It stands to reason then , that the reveal of all its ware would , in go , set the internet aroused with speculation about just what this Funko pa , or this action figure , could peradventure think of in the exalted scheme of it all .
The solvent , as you might have been capable to calculate out by now , is not a heap . But hey , at least there ’s stack of play toy to pick up while you calculate down the days until you could in reality see what ’ll happen in Avengers : Endgame when it strike theaters April 26 .
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