Is there a skill to staying in making love ? hubby and wife scientists John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman , of theGottman Institute , think so . They ’ve been studying love — using their own family relationship as a test subject — for two decennary , and they ’ve developed a sophisticated duet therapy program found on their observance of themselves and over 3000 real kinship .
According toThe Atlantic , John Gottman first started his unconventional “ Love Lab ” at the University of Washington in 1986 . He ’d bring in twosome to tattle through problems , hook them up to electrode , and monitor their centre rate as they speak through issues . He checked in with duad periodically , monitoring the progression of their relationships , and tardily reveal the markers of healthy and unhealthy kinship . For model , he observe that many of the brace that later broke up had elevated heart rate while tattle through mundane issues . Now , using the markers he observed , Gottman can predict whether twosome will stay together or break up with 94 percent truth .
But the Drs . Gottman do n’t just observe their subjects in the uninspired world of the laboratory . They ’ve host research - free-base couples retreats that dish as a fortune to detect romantic relationships in a more natural environment . There , they observed that the most successful couple make “ bidding ” for each other ’s attending , and respond supportively , while less successful couples tend to ignore each other ’s “ command . ”
As for their own relationship , the Gottmans have studied their fights and used their finding to devise methods of reconciliation that they now expound in their popular passion shop . One journalist fromThe Huffington Post , who recently advert their Art and Science of Love seminar , remark that John and Julie have n’t eliminated argumentation from their kinship ; rather , they reason with compassion . The seminar , which is train both at struggling span and those who just want to understand each other adept , is all about assist couples develop ongoing strategies for communication . The Gottmans — whose research is longitudinal — spot that there are no quick fixing in relationships ; rather , their program focus on the ongoing process of staying in love , and the work that goes into edifice and preserve relationships over many class .
[ h / tThe Atlantic ]
